How you can lead that difficult person

February 5, 2020

How are you leading the difficult people in your life? Who comes to mind when you ask yourself that question? You may be surprised that the difficult person I was actually referring to is you. The person staring back at you in your mirror is truly the most challenging person to lead. The first step to leading others is to lead yourself well.

Self-leadership isn’t optional.
Leading ourselves well is self-leadership. Some people refer to it as personal development, self-improvement or personal growth. Whatever we call it, the main point is to always be learning, growing and developing so that our leadership in ministry and in life has the greatest possible impact.

It’s so much more than reading.
Although books are a great way to grow and learn, there are so many more habits to consider as we strive to lead ourselves well. They include listening to podcasts, journaling, having a mentor, asking for feedback, attending conferences, meeting with yourself, developing your strengths, managing your time, creating margin, asking great questions and so much more. No one can do all of these perfectly, but most of us should look carefully at our current leadership habits and pick several to consider adding to our routine.

It involves every single area of life.
Good self-leadership is leading yourself well in all the major areas of your life: spiritual, emotional, physical health, finances, marriage, parenting, social, etc. Every area has a domino effect on the rest, so it’s imperative that we give attention to them all. We must be active and intentional in our growth across all areas. As we care for and pay attention to our whole self, we are also modeling healthy self-leadership for those on our teams.

Coasting does not work.
We can’t fly on auto-pilot as we try to lead ourselves more effectively. Self-leadership is very active and intentional. Becoming complacent in this area is a dangerous place for leaders. We may think we are only coasting for awhile, but we are actually sliding backwards in our leadership. We develop blind spots that others clearly see. We slip in our communication and overall effectiveness. We all know a leader who has stopped growing and, therefore, stopped leading well. Determine to be serious about self-leadership so that you don’t fall into that category.

You are the most difficult and important person to lead.
I am convinced that the most difficult but most important person you will ever lead is yourself. You will be able to lead others well if you actively, consistently and intentionally find ways to continue your personal growth and development. What is one practical next step for you in that area?

EDITOR’S NOTE: Are you interested in developing your leadership resources and skills? Join breakout leader, Joy Canupp, as she provides a leadership track at this year’s TELL conference on March 21 at Pritchard Memorial Church in Charlotte.


by Joy Cannup 
/  Coach/Speaker   /  Leading with Joy

Deadline extended to make recommendations

The Baptist State Convention of North Carolina’s (BSCNC) Committee on Nominations has voted to extended the deadline to submit recommendations for individuals to serve in various leadership roles with the state convention. Recommendations will now be accepted until Thursday, April...

4 keys to choosing the right Bible study curriculum

It is vitally important that you choose the right curriculum for your ministry. If you don’t, you could derail what you are trying to accomplish. But when it comes to resources for almost any church ministry, you will find that there are hundreds of choices on the market. So how...

What can my church do to prevent sexual abuse?

It’s been one year since the Houston Chronicle broke the news about allegations of sexual abuse in Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) churches and the response of many churches and organizations to hide or minimize these criminals. The question we must ask ourselves is, what can my...

BSCNC announces partnership with Alliance Defending Freedom

As part of a new partnership with the Alliance Defending Freedom (ADF), churches cooperating with the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina (BSCNC) can benefit from a variety of resources and services at a reduced cost when they join the ADF Church Alliance. The ADF is an...

‘Abuse of Faith:’ One year later

Southern Baptists were shocked and dismayed one year ago this month after the Houston Chronicle printed a series of articles titled “Abuse of Faith.” These articles reported that numerous sexual abuse cases with teens and children had occurred in Southern Baptist Convention (SBC)...

Church revitalization Q&A with Sandy Marks

Last fall, the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina (BSCNC) announced a new emphasis on strengthening existing churches. The emphasis included the formation of a newly named Church Health and Revitalization Team headed by BSCNC staff member Sandy Marks. Marks assumed his new...

How you can lead that difficult person

How are you leading the difficult people in your life? Who comes to mind when you ask yourself that question? You may be surprised that the difficult person I was actually referring to is you. The person staring back at you in your mirror is truly the most challenging person to...

Why reaching every child is important

I put the car in park, loosened my grip on the steering wheel and allowed a few tears of exhaustion to fall. Due to a change in our morning routine, it had been a morning full of communication difficulty and meltdowns. I quickly wiped the tears away and began walking with my...

Join us March 21 for this children’s ministry conference.

Email [email protected] or call (800) 395-5102, ext. 5646

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get the latest news and event information by signing up for the DiscipleNC newsletter.

Select Language ^

Share This

Share this with your friends!