- Process satisfaction, which requires a fair, orderly, and even-handed process where everyone feels that they’ve had a reasonable opportunity to present their side of the matter,
- Personal satisfaction, which requires treating everyone with respect, courtesy and equality, just as we would want to be treated ourselves, and
- Product satisfaction, which requires a final solution that is as reasonable, just and equitable as is humanly possible.
- Can I trust you?
- Do you really care about me?
- Can you actually help me?
- Prepare (pray, get the facts, seek godly counsel, develop options)
- Affirm relationships (show genuine concern and respect for others)
- Understand interests (identify others’ concerns, desires, needs, limitations or fears)
- Search for creative solutions (prayerful brainstorming)
- Evaluate options objectively and reasonably (evaluate, don’t argue)
- Briefly stated, how do you feel because of this problem?
- What have you done that might have contributed to this problem?
- What do you think would please God as we work through this situation?
- What steps have you already taken to make things better?
- What are you now willing to do to help resolve this problem?
- What do you suggest others do to help resolve this problem?
- Describe one or more situations in your church or ministry in which some of these principles might have resulted in a better outcome?
- Which of these principles might be especially helpful in addressing conflict that your church or ministry is currently facing?
- How many hours have your church or ministry leaders spent this year dealing with conflict?
- How might your church or ministry benefit if your leadership team discuss a few of these principles at each of your regular leadership meetings, or discuss the entire list during a leadership retreat?
EDITOR’S NOTE: This article originally appeared on rw360.org with permission to repost.